Doritos Announces New Chip for Women Only — Feminists Immediately Lose Their Minds

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Doritos announced they intended to make “female friendly” potato chips. Because this is the world we now live in – SMH.

The chip won’t crunch when bitten, nor will it leave cheese residue on the fingers.

What a time to be alive!

Here are the details…

From Daily Wire:

Doritos has announced that it’s coming out with a “lady-friendly” version of its famous corn chip that won’t crunch when you bite into it and won’t get the company’s famed neon green cheese powder all over your fingers.

The move is designed to make the product friendlier to women, who the company claims do not like to crunch their chips loudly and who refuse to lick their fingers in the presence of polite company, the New York Post reports.


“Although women would love to crunch crisps loudly, lick their fingers and pour crumbs from the bag into their mouth afterwards, they prefer not to do this in public,” PepsiCo global chief Indra Nooyi told media at a press conference Monday. “You watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom.”

But women, Nooyi said, are more civilized, preferring not “to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers.”

Conservative blogger Matt Walsh has his own take on this issue, per Daily Wire:

Anyway, after a day of chip-related rage and trauma, Doritos finally backed off the idea. It announced that its snacks are for anyone who wants diabetes, not just men. As a penance, the company promised that it would tie its chief marketing strategist to a goat, cover him in Doritos dust, and banish him naked into the wilderness where he will be eaten by a pack of female wolves. This is a thoughtful gesture, but insufficient. We must not rest until Doritos agrees to demolish its corporate headquarters with its entire management staff still inside. Then we will know that it has learned its lesson.

But, you ask, what exactly is the lesson?

Well, I shouldn’t need to explain this, but here goes: It is not acceptable for anyone to ever suggest that men and women have different tastes or preferences. Men and women are exactly the same in every way. Any claim to the contrary is a violation of the Constitution. Of course, on the other hand, it is acceptable to note certain qualities that are unique to men as long as the qualities are negative. Women and men are exactly the same, except for the fact that men are toxic pigs and rapists. But they share all of the same positive qualities. Of course, on the other hand, Doritos was basically assigning a negative characteristic to men by noting that men are sloppy and obnoxious eaters. But obnoxiousness, along with vulgarity and overassertiveness, are negative male qualities that the empowered woman wants to share with men. So, you see, the formula is complex. That’s why it’s best just to avoid making “female versions” of things. Of course, on the other hand, the female version of “Ghostbusters” was a feminist triumph and should have won the Nobel Prize. But, you see, that’s different. Look, don’t get sidetracked with trying to understand what feminism is actually saying. Comprehension is sexist. Keep your mouth shut and go with the flow, OK?

It’s good to see Doritos backed down, but the fact they even contemplated going public with this idea speaks volumes.

Why does the left have so much power over people? Why is everything either racist or sexist??

[Note: This post was written by John S. Roberts]


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